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The Worst Advice Ever...

Posted on: Jun 07, 2012 - 07:21 AM | General | Comments (0)
Author: Dru Babcock

Some of the worst advice that I have ever received has been from those who are my friends and loved ones (and especially from people who are pursuing me romantically or for business). Even though they always have the best intentions; they are all up in my business.  And they often give advice when I am not necessarily asking for it (or open to it). Has this ever happened to you?

In my humble opinion, it seems to me that this doesn’t work, even though it’s the human state.  And I’ve done it myself… Many times…

 What matters most is that we are good people, because we have good intentions. But how can we navigate through a minefield of people trying to impose their will on us? How can we get our needs met? How can I make my agenda serve me and interact with others in a capacity that serves them and the greater good? How can I be a part of the solution and raise everyone up without ruining rapport, hurting people’s feelings or creating enemies? How can I get MY needs met and let people know that they are hurting me, without hurting them? Its possible, and its actually simple.

 I started realizing that there is an epidemic of people minding other people’s business (all around me) when I was in my early twenties. I got really hurt a few times by very well intentioned people, who thought that they knew what was best for others, when theye were really only selfishly trying to get their own needs met, while creating destruction. And fortunately, my ultimate response was that I went into a state of intense curiosity. I started asking myself “why are people like this?” And it’s been a journey; now I have some insights, which I can sum up my experiences with. I aim to share my experience with you in this blog-post. I think that it is useful stuff and that it will serve you in positive ways. And if you are reading this, you are certainly here by choice and I am not giving unsolicited advice, right?

So what is the solution you ask? Very simply: Go away from moral judgment and toward curiosity. A question is the antidote to being stuck in judgment. Any question at all is going to get you in a better direction. How many times have you been influenced by someone when you felt like you were being judged?

And, I believe that if you TRULY intend to serve, you will be guided! So, if you are going to step up and give advice or lead, just make sure that your focus is on the greater good and not you. For this you must come from your heart. And you will find out if your intentions are pure because the outcome will be the measure of your success. And you will know when it’s right because your heart will tell you. Like I often say: “it’s a journey”… It’s the Human state to be judgmental and it takes making many mistakes to learn and to get good judgment. And nobody is perfect…

And did you notice that I shifted the focus from other people minding my business to me minding my own business and being curious about other people? I believe that the biggest insight that I can share with you on this topic is this: It’s not about them; its about “Me!" Its about "Me" doing my part, and knowing specifically what that part is. Gandhi puts it best with his quote: “Be the change that you want to see in the world”.
What if we all focused on the outcome that we want and what’s working well, instead of what’s not? What would that get us? What would we get if we focused on what we can do (individually and collectively) for the whole of society?

A skilled coach has the training and experience to facilitate you in understanding your business and your purpose here in the world, without giving you unsolicited advice. Try a free 1 hour Discovery session and see what is possible.

 

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